How to Manage Finances as a Couple

financial planning for couples
Kira Yakubov
Kira Ploshansky, LMFT
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How to Manage Finances as a Couple

Money is the number one issue married couples fight about, and it’s the second leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity.

So, finances are a common area of conflict for couples. Open and honest communication is essential for building a strong and healthy financial relationship.

Couples should discuss financial matters regularly, even if it’s just a quick check-in. It’s important to be proactive about initiating these conversations, rather than avoiding them.

When disagreements arise, many couples fight. A healthy relationship should try to navigate them respectfully and constructively.

Infographic: Why you need to Discuss Finances with Your Partner

Benefits of Discussing Finances

There are many benefits to discussing finances as a couple, including:

  • Building trust and transparency: Open communication about finances builds trust and intimacy.
  • Financial alignment: When couples are on the same page financially, they are more likely to achieve their shared goals.
  • Reduced financial stress: Talking about money can help to reduce stress and tension in the relationship.
  • Financial planning and security: Discussing finances allows couples to plan for the future and make sure they are financially secure.

Negative Consequences of Not Discussing money as a couple

When it comes to money and relationships, unmet expectations can cause a lot of conflict. there are also many negative consequences to not discussing finances as a couple, including:

  • Financial conflicts: Avoiding money talks can lead to conflicts and stress.
  • Hidden debts or financial secrets: Lack of transparency can lead to hidden debts or financial secrets, which can damage trust in the relationship.
  • Unrealistic expectations: If couples are not aligned financially, they may have unrealistic expectations about their lifestyle and spending habits.

Impact of Past Experiences: Start talking about money!

Our past experiences with money can have a significant impact on our financial mindset. The way our families handled money, the messages we received about money, and our own personal experiences with money can all shape our beliefs and attitudes about finances.

These beliefs can then impact our behavior in our adult relationships.

Couples and money: Couple achieving shared goals together, symbolizing success through teamwork and financial alignment

For example, if someone grew up in a household where money was always tight, they may be more likely to be anxious about money as an adult.

They may also be more likely to be a saver than a spender. On the other hand, if someone grew up in a household where money was never a problem, they may be more likely to be careless with money as an adult. They may also be more likely to be a spender than a saver.

Handle finances as a Couple and Stop Fighting About Money

It’s important to be aware of how our past experiences with money can impact our financial behavior in our relationships. By understanding our own money mindset, and our partner’s money mindset, we can better communicate about finances and avoid potential conflicts.

Tips for Discussing Finances

Here are a few tips for discussing finances as a couple:

  • Schedule regular money dates. This will give you a chance to talk about finances in a structured and relaxed setting.
  • Be honest and open about your financial situation. This includes your income, debts, and spending habits.
  • Listen to each other’s perspectives. Try to understand your partner’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.
  • Be willing to compromise. You’re not always going to agree on everything, so it’s important to be willing to compromise.
  • Seek professional help if needed. If you’re struggling to communicate about finances, or if you’re facing financial difficulties, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a financial advisor or therapist.
  • Budget basics for couples: To help keep you on track, you can set up a spending plan in an Excel or Google Sheets document. There are also apps designed especially for couples, such as HoneyDue, Goodbudget, Mint, or You Need A Budget (YNAB). For a low-tech option, try using labeled envelopes for each spending category and allot yourself an amount of money each week or month.

By following these tips, couples can build a strong and healthy financial relationship that will help them to achieve their shared goals.

Ways to manage money as a couple: Joint finances

There are three main ways that couples can manage their finances: separately, jointly, or with a combination of both.

Managing finances separately allows each partner to maintain individual control over their income and spending, which can be helpful for maintaining independence and preventing conflicts over purchases.

A joint account, on the other hand, promotes a sense of partnership by pooling all resources together, encouraging transparency and shared decision-making.

Quote: Handle money together to stay together longer

Finally, a combination of separate and joint accounts provides a balance, giving couples the flexibility to manage shared expenses like rent and groceries while maintaining some individual financial autonomy. The choice of which method works best depends on the couple’s preferences, financial goals, and communication style.

The final method of managing money with your partner is a bit of a hybrid of the two previous methods and involves having both joint and separate bank accounts.

Manage your money to stay together longer

So… Managing finances as a couple is about more than just numbers – it’s about trust, communication, and shared goals.

By addressing money matters openly and honestly, couples can strengthen their relationship and build a future together that reflects both partners’ financial aspirations. Take the first step towards financial harmony by initiating a conversation with your partner, and remember that teamwork and empathy are key to achieving your shared financial goals.

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